Parents and Carers

If parents have any concerns or issues about any aspect of their child’s education, they should raise these with the child’s teacher. If this is not helpful, they can speak to the head teacher or an education officer from the local authority.

Any disagreement about the education of children with additional support needs can be referred to an independent mediation service such as Common Ground Mediation. ASN mediation is provided free of charge to parents.

More information about additional support needs.

More information about mediation.

Common Ground Mediation provides independent ASN mediation services to some but by no means all Scottish local authorities. For information regarding the mediation service provider in your area, contact Enquire or the Scottish Mediation Network .
Or contact us.

Communication tips for building strong partnerships
Expect Successful Partnerships
(adapted from information from the Peal Center and CADRE, USA)

A collection of effective communication skills that can be used to encourage solution focused conversations:

1. Know who and how to contact the right person to address your concerns.
Identify your concerns and the outcomes you would like to see.
‘We really need to focus on…….’
Focus positively on the issue at hand and try not to allow negativity to take control.
‘I’m sure we’ll find a good solution to……..’
Talk to the person closest to your child first. Write down the contact details of the people on your team and keep them handy.

2. Use reputable resources.
Know what you’re talking about.
Is your concern based on hearsay or rumours?
Use documents produced by your local authority.
Learn about the subject.
Misconceptions and misinformation are barriers to success. For accurate and up to date information about additional support for learning, contact Enquire.

3. Make a list of your concerns, questions and possible options and outcomes.
Look at your list and decide which question needs to be taken care of first. Identify who can help you with your question.
Does everything need to be discussed at one time?
What are the absolute priorities?
What can wait until later to sort out?
Is this something that will require a meeting or will a phone call be enough?

4. Practice what you want to say and HOW to say it.
‘What’s most important for Billy right now is…..’
Stay centred on the child.
Focus on the positives.
Be clear about your goals.
Listen. Ask questions. Clarify – if you don’t understand something completely, then ask another question:
‘So let me check that I’ve got this right – what you are saying is………?’

90% of communication is non-verbal so try to be aware of your facial expressions and body language. Folded arms, heavy sighing and rolling your eyes give a negative message. Manage your anger and try not to use an aggressive tone of voice.

5. Questions that begin with ‘why’ or ‘who’ create more defensiveness than questions that begin with ‘what’ or ‘how’.
‘How can we help John to feel safe in the playground?’
‘What are some of the targets that Katy can realistically be aiming for?’
‘How can we find time to have another discussion about these issues?’
Communicate to express, not to impress.
First understand, and then……. be understood.

6. Be direct if you don’t understand something that is being said. Ask the speaker:
‘Do I understand correctly…..?’
‘I just don’t understand what you are saying. Can you explain it in a different way or give me some examples?’
Keep asking until you understand.

Final Tips
Try not to finish somebody’s sentence or put words into their mouth, even if you think you know what they are going to say.
Reframe the sentence for clarity:
‘So what I think you are saying is ……….. Is that right?’

Try not to worry about the educational jargon that is sometimes used and remember……you are the expert about your child.

Be open to brainstorming some ideas or solutions.

Say what you mean in a way that does not place blame but rather identifies the concern.
‘I know that there’s a way to work this out together, so that we begin to see the progress we’re all looking for.’
‘Let’s see what kind of ideas we can come up with to take care of this difficulty.’

Present options in a collaborative way.
‘We can’……instead of ‘you should’
‘Yes’……instead of ‘yes,but’

Common Ground Mediation offers training and/or coaching for parents on various topics including:

Communication skills
Effective partnership working
Conflict management skills

For information about parenting issues and support for families contact Parenting Across Scotland (PAS)